This is my new favorite thing in the history of life
i went into a store with the intention of buying one white shirt
i walked out with three black shirts
i feel this sums me up accurately.
hey guys as it’s starting to get warmer out i'd like to remind everyone to stay hydrated and drink lots of water!
did everyone just quietly forgive pharrell for being in blurred lines
if you’re upset, men either assume:
a) you’re on your period
b) you need to get laid
if you’re happy, men either assume:
a) you got laid
b) you’re going to get laid
WHY DO YOU THINK MY MOOD REVOLVES AROUND YOUR PENIS
like how much more obvious does this need to be made for people to get it?
this isnt even an exaggeration
like at all
what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?
i hate this i hate u
at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it
My dick is pi inches long
This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf
One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
i should have left my house by now ahahahahaha why do i have to revise D:
so i missed the moon going red yesterday and i was really sad about it and was talking to my boyfriend about it and he sends me this
and i know its really stupid and it took him like three seconds but it is the most adorabe thing and its really sweet and hes great and awh he painted the moon red for me
Samuel L Jackson decided that red and green lightsabers were a stupidass decision. \o/
He said it, he said the thing.
Remember when Carlton lost his virginity?
in case you needed a reminder that humans are incredible and terrifying
I was only a minute and a half into this video before the urge to reblog completely won over.
wait how is he doing that thing that he’s doing? what is this
WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUC- WHAT WHATT
HOLY FUC—NG SHI-
What. In. The. World.